Hope, Forgiveness, and Positive Psychology in Couple Therapy
portes grátis
Hope, Forgiveness, and Positive Psychology in Couple Therapy
Ripley, Jennifer S.; Worthington Jr., Everett L.
Taylor & Francis Ltd
10/2024
302
Mole
9780367443849
Pré-lançamento - envio 15 a 20 dias após a sua edição
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CHAPTER 1 ADMITTING TO THE FRAGILITY OF COUPLE THERAPY: HOLD ONTO HOPE
PART 1 FRAMING INTERVENTIONS
CHAPTER 2 INTRODUCING THE THEORY: USE FIVE STEPS IN OPERATION HOPE
Figure 2-1: Operation Hope: The Grand Strategy for the Hope-Focused Couple Approach.
Intervention 2-1: Ten Techniques of the HFCA
CHAPTER 3 PROMOTING HOPE: UNCOVER DIFFERENT KINDS OF HOPE
CHAPTER 4 EMPLOY STRATEGIES FOR LOVE: HELP COUPLES DO THE WORK AND KEEP THE FAITH
Intervention 4-1: Education about Couple Therapy
Intervention 4-2: Get This Across-In Couple Therapy, Work Is Essential
Intervention 4-3: You Just Have to Do a Week of Work
Intervention 4-4: Great Homework Interventions
Intervention 4-5: Reflective Processing Worksheet
Intervention 4-6: Love that Values the Partner in Action
CHAPTER 5 USING THE THERAPY TECHNIQUES: MAKE CHANGE SENSIBLE
Intervention 5-1: How to Do Sensible Scaling with a Couple
CHAPTER 6 STRENGTHING THE EMOTIONAL BOND: FOCUS ON WHAT REALLY MAKES COUPLES SATISFIED AND STABLE
Figure 6-1: Practical Recipe of Actions to Build Intimacy
Intervention 6-1: CLEAVE to Bond
Intervention 6-2: Tell Me a Secret-Share Your Dreams
Intervention 6-3: Attend to the Emotional Cues
CHAPTER 7 APPLYING PRINCIPLES OF COUPLE THERAPY: FIND THE ESSENCE OF HELPING COUPLES CHANGE
PART 2 INTERACTING HOPEFULLY
CHAPTER 8 BUILDING HOPE WITH HOPE: HANDLING OUR PROBLEMS EFFECTIVELY
Intervention 8-1: The Alligator Intervention (Or How to Respond When Your Partner Snaps)
CHAPTER 9 UNDERSTANDING THE COUPLE'S PROBLEMS AND GOALS: USE ASSESSMENT EFFICIENTLY
Figure 9-1: The Couple Improvement Plan
Table 9-1: Questionnaires and Scales for Clinical Assessment of Couples
Intervention 9-1: Educate Couples about Preferences
Intervention 9-2: Pre-Meeting Assessment Questionnaires
Intervention 9-3: The Dyadic Interview 10 Questions
Intervention 9-4: Assigning Homework and the Couple Improvement Plan Worksheet
Intervention 9-5: Detect Red Flags
CHAPTER 10 PROVIDING FEEDBACK TO THE COUPLE: ENGAGE COUPLES IN PLANNING THEIR TREATMENT
Figure 10-1: Graphic Display of Carl and Sarah's Ratings of Elements of Their Relationship
Intervention 10-1: The Assessment Report
Intervention 10-2: Feedback Report Example
Intervention 10-3: Example Treatment Plan for Couple Therapy
CHAPTER 11 SETTING UP ROUTINE OUTCOME MONITORING: PUT ASSESSMENT TO WORK
Figure 11-1: H-ROM Questionnaire
Figure 11-2: Display of ROM Results for Each Partner
Intervention 11-1: Routine Outcome Monitoring (ROM) Assessment
CHAPTER 12 USING COUPLE THERAPY METHODS FOR HOPE: INSTILL HOPE FOR THE HOLY, HURTING, AND HEALTHY
Figure 12-1: Pain-Defense-Offense Pattern (adapted from Sells & Yarhouse, 2011)
Intervention 12-1: The Video Review
Intervention 12-2: Stopping Negative Reciprocity
CHAPTER 13 HELPING RESOLVE CONFLICTS: FIND MUTUAL INTERESTS BENEATH SURFACE FIGHTS
Figure 13-1: Couple Conflict: Process and Intervention
Figure 13-2: The LOVE Acronym
Intervention 13-1: LOVE-Three Interventions in One
Intervention 13-2: Five-Minute Date
Intervention 13-3: Simple Listen and Repeat, Warmly
Intervention 13-4: Time Out
Intervention 13-5: Expressing Valuing Love
Intervention 13-6: Experiencing and Expressing Gratitude
Intervention 13-7: Doubt Your Doubt
Intervention 13-8: Diffusing a Power Struggle by Setting up a Win-Win and Inviting Partners to Honor Each Other's Valued Choices
Intervention 13-9: Values Card Sort
Intervention 13-10: Process the Conflict
Intervention 13-11: Begin a Hard Discussion with a Soft Start-Up
Intervention 13-12: Slimy Pit Demonstration
CHAPTER 14 PROMOTING BETTER COMMUNICATION: FACILITATE WHAT THEY ALREADY KNOW
Figure 14-1: Practice Affirming and Active Responding Instead of Discounting and Disengaging
Intervention 14-1: Love Bank
Intervention 14-2: Love Bank Spin-Offs
Intervention 14-3: Making Affirming Active Responses Using the Speaker-Listener Technique
Intervention 14-4: Leveling and Editing
Intervention 14-5: Love Busters
Intervention 14-6: TANGO and TANGO-E
Intervention 14-7: A Coke and a Smile
PART 3 BONDING
CHAPTER 15 REVEALING THE SECRET TO A HAPPY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP: HELP BUILD A MORE INTIMATE EMOTIONAL BOND
Figure 15-1: Sternberg's Eight Types of Love Derived from Being High or Low in Passion, Intimacy, and Commitment
Figure 15-2: Intimacy Thermometers (Ripley & Worthington, 2014)
Intervention 15-1: Plot the Couple's Sternberg Love-Triangle History
Intervention 15-2: Conceptualization of Three Types of Power
Intervention 15-3: Assess and Process the Intimacy Thermometers
Intervention 15-4: Graphing Closeness throughout the Relationship
Intervention 15-5: Five Love Languages to Increase Emotional Bonds
Intervention 15-6: A Sculpting Intervention to Deepen Intimacy over Time
Intervention 15-7: Make Dreams and Hopes Solid
CHAPTER 16 ENCOURAGING DEEP EMOTIONAL SHARING: HELP PARTNERS SHARE POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
Intervention 16-1: Romantic Dates and Special Times to Enhance Emotional Intimacy
Intervention 16-2: Three Ways to Enhance Sexual Intimacy
Intervention 16-3: Intellectual and Recreational Intimacy
Intervention 16-4: Prompt Spiritual and Romantic Reflection
Intervention 16-5: Assessing Spirituality with Couples
Intervention 16-6: Couple Prayer
Intervention 16-7: Process Ruptures in the Therapeutic Alliance
CHAPTER 17 BALANCING INTIMACY AND CLOSENESS WITH CO-ACTION AND ALONE-TIME: FIND THE RIGHT MIX FOR EACH COUPLE
Figure 17-1: The Distancer-Pursuer Couple Play-List. Topics that Trigger the Pattern of Requesting Interaction Followed by Withdrawal Followed by Elevated Intensity of Requests, etc.
Intervention 17-1: Bonding Day Activity
Intervention 17-2: A Used-Friendly Manual to Love Me
Intervention 17-3: Distancer-Pursuer Playlist
Intervention 17-4: Influencing Well and Accepting Influence
Intervention 17-5: Healthy Paths to Intimacy and Independence
CHAPTER 18 DISCERRNING ATTACHMENT STYLES AND EMOTIONAL BONDS: FIND EFFECTS OF EARLY RELATIONSHIPS AND OF ADULT ONES
Intervention 18-1: Understand Attachment by Creating Genograms Focused on Attachment Styles
Intervention 18-2: Attachment Styles in Their Close Relationships
Intervention 18-3: Two Attachment Styles, One Emotional Bod
Intervention 18-4: Predict Backsliding to Avoid It
Intervention 18-5: Address Defenses against Vulnerability
Intervention 18-6: Solidify Intimacy by Renewing Vows
Intervention 18-7: Solidify Intimacy by Creating a Sojourning Narrative
PART 4 FORGIVING
CHAPTER 19 DEALING WITH HURTS AND INJUSTICES: REDUCE THE INJUSTICE GAP TO MAKE FORGIVENESS EASIER
Figure 19-1: Radical Acceptance
Intervention 19-1: See with Magic Eyes Fable
Intervention 19-2: Questions to Ponder as You Begin to Address Past Hurts with the Couple
Intervention 19-3: Stopping Rumination
Intervention 19-4: Tolerate Offensive Behavior without Blowing Up
Intervention 19-5: Forbear Instead of Seeking Revenge (Or Even Contemplating It)
Intervention 19-6: Offer Restitution
Intervention 19-7: Grace Ain't Just for Supper
Intervention 19-8: Radical Acceptance
Intervention 19-9: Transform Emotion with Emotion
CHAPTER 20 USING AN EFFECTIVE FORGIVENESS INTERVENTION: TEACH FIVE STEPS TO REACH FORGIVENESS
Intervention 20-1: Issues to Consider as You Start a REACH Forgiveness Group Program for Your Practice
Intervention 20-2: Point-by-Point Summary of the REACH Forgiveness Protocol
Intervention 20-3: Research Supporting REACH Forgiveness Treatment
CHAPTER 21 USING REACH FORGIVENESS IN SESSION: WALK COUPLES THROUGH IT
Figure 21-1: Four Interventions (21-1, 21-2, 21-3, and 21-4) to Promote Movement toward Reconciliation
Intervention 21-1: Choose Four Offenses to Work on
Intervention 21-2: Introduce the REACH Forgiveness Model
Intervention 21-3: Practice Confession and Apology
Intervention 21-4: Apply REACH
Intervention 21-5: Work through a Do-It-Yourself Workbook on REACH Forgiveness
Intervention 21-6: Have Partners Reflect on Their Learning
Intervention 21-7: Six Steps to Decisional Plus Emotional Self-Forgiveness
Intervention 21-8: An Intervention to Forgive Oneself Due to Non-Moral Self-Condemnation
Intervention 21-9: Working with One Partner on Curbing Their Excessive Self-Condemnation
PART 5 RECONCILING AND REBUILDING
CHAPTER 22 TEACHING FORGIVENESS AND RECONCILIATION: GUIDE PARTNERS THROUGH FOUR STEPS TO SET PARTNERS FREE
Figure 22-1: Four Steps to Forgiveness and Reconciliation through Experiencing Empathy (FREE)
Intervention 22-1: Idea #1 for Preparing Couples to Forgive & Reconcile-Consider Wartime
Intervention 22-2: Idea #2 for Preparing Couples to Reconcile-Why Forgive & Reconcile?
Intervention 22-3: Idea #3 for Preparing Couples to Reconcile-Savor Good Forgiveness
CHAPTER 23 MAKING DECISIONS AND DISCUSSING HURTS: DISCERN WHAT CAN AND CAN'T BE REDEEMED
Figure 23-1: Prepare for FREE
Intervention 23-1: Consider Memory of Past Conflicts with an Analogy
Intervention 23-2: It's Not Only What I Did, But What My Partner Perceived I Did
Intervention 23-3: Psychoeducation about Processing Past Offenses
Intervention 23-4: Dan Wile's (1988, 2008) Empathic Responding
Intervention 23-5: Preparing for Forgiveness and Reconciliation with Empathy
Intervention 23-6: Preparing for Forgiveness and Reconciliation with Emotional Softening
Intervention 23-7: Preparing for Forgiveness and Reconciliation through Regulating Emotions
Intervention 23-8: Address Resistance, Fuzzy Definitions, and Fears of Forgiveness
Intervention 23-9: Write Letters of Apology as Homework
Intervention 23-10: Discuss Potential Responses to Being Asked to Forgive the Wrongdoer
Intervention 23-11: CONFESS Acronym
CHAPTER 24 REPAIRING DAMAGE TO THE RELATIONSHIP: FIX WHAT CAN BE FIXED
Intervention 24-1: Scaling the Injustice Gap
Intervention 24-2: Responding to Criticism Non-Defensively (In Session)
Intervention 24-3: Principles to Address Unresolvable Problems
CHAPTER 25 REBUILDING DEVOTION WITH FREE: CREATE NEW STRUCTURES TO REPLACE MISSING ONES
Intervention 25-1: For Marriage War-Survivors, Read about Coventry and Dresden
Intervention 25-2: Increase Devotion through Gratitude Interventions
Intervention 25-3: Motivate Couples to Use Regular Checks on Functioning
Intervention 25-4: Discuss Annual Relationship Check-Up Questions
Intervention 25-5: Use the CARE Measure to Have Couples Self-Evaluate the Relationship
PART 6 REFORGING TRUST
CHAPTER 26 REFORGING TRUST: LET COUPLES KNOW THAT IT TAKES LONGER THAN THEY THINK IT WILL
Figure 26-1: Trust
Intervention 26-1: Illuminate the Processes of Trust-Busting and Trust-Building
Intervention 26-2: Use Slow-Building Trust to Deal with Deep Hurts
Intervention 26-3: ATTUNE, An Acronym for Handling a Betrayal
Intervention 26-4: It's Happening Again
Intervention 26-5: Partner Exercise in Building Trust
Intervention 26-6: The Trust Bank
CHAPTER 27 PREPARING FOR FUTURE RUPTURES: ALERT PARTNERS TO INEVITABLE FUTURE RUPTURES
Intervention 27-1: Anticipate Ruptures by Assessing Change throughout Treatment
Intervention 27-2: Anticipate Ruptures by Staying Calm in the Face of Resistances and Roadblocks
Intervention 27-3: Anticipate Ruptures When Working with Partners with a Trauma History
Intervention 27-4: Anticipate Ruptures by Monitoring the Therapist's Own Negative Reactions
CHAPTER 28 SOLIDIFYING GAINS AT TERMINATION: PROMOTE REFLECTIVE FUTURE PLANNING IN LIGHT OF REVIEW OF THERAPY
Figure 28-1: Figure in Termination Report Reporting the Results of Relationship Closeness Before Therapy (darker pillars) and After Therapy (lighter pillars)
Intervention 28-1: Three Questions at Termination
Intervention 28-2: An Example of a Final Termination Report
Intervention 28-3: Joshua Memorial or Graduation Ceremony
Intervention 28-4: Post-Therapy Assessment
CHAPTER 29 REACHING A PRODUCTIVE CONCLUSION: HEED THESE TAKE-HOME MESSAGES
PART 1 FRAMING INTERVENTIONS
CHAPTER 2 INTRODUCING THE THEORY: USE FIVE STEPS IN OPERATION HOPE
Figure 2-1: Operation Hope: The Grand Strategy for the Hope-Focused Couple Approach.
Intervention 2-1: Ten Techniques of the HFCA
CHAPTER 3 PROMOTING HOPE: UNCOVER DIFFERENT KINDS OF HOPE
CHAPTER 4 EMPLOY STRATEGIES FOR LOVE: HELP COUPLES DO THE WORK AND KEEP THE FAITH
Intervention 4-1: Education about Couple Therapy
Intervention 4-2: Get This Across-In Couple Therapy, Work Is Essential
Intervention 4-3: You Just Have to Do a Week of Work
Intervention 4-4: Great Homework Interventions
Intervention 4-5: Reflective Processing Worksheet
Intervention 4-6: Love that Values the Partner in Action
CHAPTER 5 USING THE THERAPY TECHNIQUES: MAKE CHANGE SENSIBLE
Intervention 5-1: How to Do Sensible Scaling with a Couple
CHAPTER 6 STRENGTHING THE EMOTIONAL BOND: FOCUS ON WHAT REALLY MAKES COUPLES SATISFIED AND STABLE
Figure 6-1: Practical Recipe of Actions to Build Intimacy
Intervention 6-1: CLEAVE to Bond
Intervention 6-2: Tell Me a Secret-Share Your Dreams
Intervention 6-3: Attend to the Emotional Cues
CHAPTER 7 APPLYING PRINCIPLES OF COUPLE THERAPY: FIND THE ESSENCE OF HELPING COUPLES CHANGE
PART 2 INTERACTING HOPEFULLY
CHAPTER 8 BUILDING HOPE WITH HOPE: HANDLING OUR PROBLEMS EFFECTIVELY
Intervention 8-1: The Alligator Intervention (Or How to Respond When Your Partner Snaps)
CHAPTER 9 UNDERSTANDING THE COUPLE'S PROBLEMS AND GOALS: USE ASSESSMENT EFFICIENTLY
Figure 9-1: The Couple Improvement Plan
Table 9-1: Questionnaires and Scales for Clinical Assessment of Couples
Intervention 9-1: Educate Couples about Preferences
Intervention 9-2: Pre-Meeting Assessment Questionnaires
Intervention 9-3: The Dyadic Interview 10 Questions
Intervention 9-4: Assigning Homework and the Couple Improvement Plan Worksheet
Intervention 9-5: Detect Red Flags
CHAPTER 10 PROVIDING FEEDBACK TO THE COUPLE: ENGAGE COUPLES IN PLANNING THEIR TREATMENT
Figure 10-1: Graphic Display of Carl and Sarah's Ratings of Elements of Their Relationship
Intervention 10-1: The Assessment Report
Intervention 10-2: Feedback Report Example
Intervention 10-3: Example Treatment Plan for Couple Therapy
CHAPTER 11 SETTING UP ROUTINE OUTCOME MONITORING: PUT ASSESSMENT TO WORK
Figure 11-1: H-ROM Questionnaire
Figure 11-2: Display of ROM Results for Each Partner
Intervention 11-1: Routine Outcome Monitoring (ROM) Assessment
CHAPTER 12 USING COUPLE THERAPY METHODS FOR HOPE: INSTILL HOPE FOR THE HOLY, HURTING, AND HEALTHY
Figure 12-1: Pain-Defense-Offense Pattern (adapted from Sells & Yarhouse, 2011)
Intervention 12-1: The Video Review
Intervention 12-2: Stopping Negative Reciprocity
CHAPTER 13 HELPING RESOLVE CONFLICTS: FIND MUTUAL INTERESTS BENEATH SURFACE FIGHTS
Figure 13-1: Couple Conflict: Process and Intervention
Figure 13-2: The LOVE Acronym
Intervention 13-1: LOVE-Three Interventions in One
Intervention 13-2: Five-Minute Date
Intervention 13-3: Simple Listen and Repeat, Warmly
Intervention 13-4: Time Out
Intervention 13-5: Expressing Valuing Love
Intervention 13-6: Experiencing and Expressing Gratitude
Intervention 13-7: Doubt Your Doubt
Intervention 13-8: Diffusing a Power Struggle by Setting up a Win-Win and Inviting Partners to Honor Each Other's Valued Choices
Intervention 13-9: Values Card Sort
Intervention 13-10: Process the Conflict
Intervention 13-11: Begin a Hard Discussion with a Soft Start-Up
Intervention 13-12: Slimy Pit Demonstration
CHAPTER 14 PROMOTING BETTER COMMUNICATION: FACILITATE WHAT THEY ALREADY KNOW
Figure 14-1: Practice Affirming and Active Responding Instead of Discounting and Disengaging
Intervention 14-1: Love Bank
Intervention 14-2: Love Bank Spin-Offs
Intervention 14-3: Making Affirming Active Responses Using the Speaker-Listener Technique
Intervention 14-4: Leveling and Editing
Intervention 14-5: Love Busters
Intervention 14-6: TANGO and TANGO-E
Intervention 14-7: A Coke and a Smile
PART 3 BONDING
CHAPTER 15 REVEALING THE SECRET TO A HAPPY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP: HELP BUILD A MORE INTIMATE EMOTIONAL BOND
Figure 15-1: Sternberg's Eight Types of Love Derived from Being High or Low in Passion, Intimacy, and Commitment
Figure 15-2: Intimacy Thermometers (Ripley & Worthington, 2014)
Intervention 15-1: Plot the Couple's Sternberg Love-Triangle History
Intervention 15-2: Conceptualization of Three Types of Power
Intervention 15-3: Assess and Process the Intimacy Thermometers
Intervention 15-4: Graphing Closeness throughout the Relationship
Intervention 15-5: Five Love Languages to Increase Emotional Bonds
Intervention 15-6: A Sculpting Intervention to Deepen Intimacy over Time
Intervention 15-7: Make Dreams and Hopes Solid
CHAPTER 16 ENCOURAGING DEEP EMOTIONAL SHARING: HELP PARTNERS SHARE POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
Intervention 16-1: Romantic Dates and Special Times to Enhance Emotional Intimacy
Intervention 16-2: Three Ways to Enhance Sexual Intimacy
Intervention 16-3: Intellectual and Recreational Intimacy
Intervention 16-4: Prompt Spiritual and Romantic Reflection
Intervention 16-5: Assessing Spirituality with Couples
Intervention 16-6: Couple Prayer
Intervention 16-7: Process Ruptures in the Therapeutic Alliance
CHAPTER 17 BALANCING INTIMACY AND CLOSENESS WITH CO-ACTION AND ALONE-TIME: FIND THE RIGHT MIX FOR EACH COUPLE
Figure 17-1: The Distancer-Pursuer Couple Play-List. Topics that Trigger the Pattern of Requesting Interaction Followed by Withdrawal Followed by Elevated Intensity of Requests, etc.
Intervention 17-1: Bonding Day Activity
Intervention 17-2: A Used-Friendly Manual to Love Me
Intervention 17-3: Distancer-Pursuer Playlist
Intervention 17-4: Influencing Well and Accepting Influence
Intervention 17-5: Healthy Paths to Intimacy and Independence
CHAPTER 18 DISCERRNING ATTACHMENT STYLES AND EMOTIONAL BONDS: FIND EFFECTS OF EARLY RELATIONSHIPS AND OF ADULT ONES
Intervention 18-1: Understand Attachment by Creating Genograms Focused on Attachment Styles
Intervention 18-2: Attachment Styles in Their Close Relationships
Intervention 18-3: Two Attachment Styles, One Emotional Bod
Intervention 18-4: Predict Backsliding to Avoid It
Intervention 18-5: Address Defenses against Vulnerability
Intervention 18-6: Solidify Intimacy by Renewing Vows
Intervention 18-7: Solidify Intimacy by Creating a Sojourning Narrative
PART 4 FORGIVING
CHAPTER 19 DEALING WITH HURTS AND INJUSTICES: REDUCE THE INJUSTICE GAP TO MAKE FORGIVENESS EASIER
Figure 19-1: Radical Acceptance
Intervention 19-1: See with Magic Eyes Fable
Intervention 19-2: Questions to Ponder as You Begin to Address Past Hurts with the Couple
Intervention 19-3: Stopping Rumination
Intervention 19-4: Tolerate Offensive Behavior without Blowing Up
Intervention 19-5: Forbear Instead of Seeking Revenge (Or Even Contemplating It)
Intervention 19-6: Offer Restitution
Intervention 19-7: Grace Ain't Just for Supper
Intervention 19-8: Radical Acceptance
Intervention 19-9: Transform Emotion with Emotion
CHAPTER 20 USING AN EFFECTIVE FORGIVENESS INTERVENTION: TEACH FIVE STEPS TO REACH FORGIVENESS
Intervention 20-1: Issues to Consider as You Start a REACH Forgiveness Group Program for Your Practice
Intervention 20-2: Point-by-Point Summary of the REACH Forgiveness Protocol
Intervention 20-3: Research Supporting REACH Forgiveness Treatment
CHAPTER 21 USING REACH FORGIVENESS IN SESSION: WALK COUPLES THROUGH IT
Figure 21-1: Four Interventions (21-1, 21-2, 21-3, and 21-4) to Promote Movement toward Reconciliation
Intervention 21-1: Choose Four Offenses to Work on
Intervention 21-2: Introduce the REACH Forgiveness Model
Intervention 21-3: Practice Confession and Apology
Intervention 21-4: Apply REACH
Intervention 21-5: Work through a Do-It-Yourself Workbook on REACH Forgiveness
Intervention 21-6: Have Partners Reflect on Their Learning
Intervention 21-7: Six Steps to Decisional Plus Emotional Self-Forgiveness
Intervention 21-8: An Intervention to Forgive Oneself Due to Non-Moral Self-Condemnation
Intervention 21-9: Working with One Partner on Curbing Their Excessive Self-Condemnation
PART 5 RECONCILING AND REBUILDING
CHAPTER 22 TEACHING FORGIVENESS AND RECONCILIATION: GUIDE PARTNERS THROUGH FOUR STEPS TO SET PARTNERS FREE
Figure 22-1: Four Steps to Forgiveness and Reconciliation through Experiencing Empathy (FREE)
Intervention 22-1: Idea #1 for Preparing Couples to Forgive & Reconcile-Consider Wartime
Intervention 22-2: Idea #2 for Preparing Couples to Reconcile-Why Forgive & Reconcile?
Intervention 22-3: Idea #3 for Preparing Couples to Reconcile-Savor Good Forgiveness
CHAPTER 23 MAKING DECISIONS AND DISCUSSING HURTS: DISCERN WHAT CAN AND CAN'T BE REDEEMED
Figure 23-1: Prepare for FREE
Intervention 23-1: Consider Memory of Past Conflicts with an Analogy
Intervention 23-2: It's Not Only What I Did, But What My Partner Perceived I Did
Intervention 23-3: Psychoeducation about Processing Past Offenses
Intervention 23-4: Dan Wile's (1988, 2008) Empathic Responding
Intervention 23-5: Preparing for Forgiveness and Reconciliation with Empathy
Intervention 23-6: Preparing for Forgiveness and Reconciliation with Emotional Softening
Intervention 23-7: Preparing for Forgiveness and Reconciliation through Regulating Emotions
Intervention 23-8: Address Resistance, Fuzzy Definitions, and Fears of Forgiveness
Intervention 23-9: Write Letters of Apology as Homework
Intervention 23-10: Discuss Potential Responses to Being Asked to Forgive the Wrongdoer
Intervention 23-11: CONFESS Acronym
CHAPTER 24 REPAIRING DAMAGE TO THE RELATIONSHIP: FIX WHAT CAN BE FIXED
Intervention 24-1: Scaling the Injustice Gap
Intervention 24-2: Responding to Criticism Non-Defensively (In Session)
Intervention 24-3: Principles to Address Unresolvable Problems
CHAPTER 25 REBUILDING DEVOTION WITH FREE: CREATE NEW STRUCTURES TO REPLACE MISSING ONES
Intervention 25-1: For Marriage War-Survivors, Read about Coventry and Dresden
Intervention 25-2: Increase Devotion through Gratitude Interventions
Intervention 25-3: Motivate Couples to Use Regular Checks on Functioning
Intervention 25-4: Discuss Annual Relationship Check-Up Questions
Intervention 25-5: Use the CARE Measure to Have Couples Self-Evaluate the Relationship
PART 6 REFORGING TRUST
CHAPTER 26 REFORGING TRUST: LET COUPLES KNOW THAT IT TAKES LONGER THAN THEY THINK IT WILL
Figure 26-1: Trust
Intervention 26-1: Illuminate the Processes of Trust-Busting and Trust-Building
Intervention 26-2: Use Slow-Building Trust to Deal with Deep Hurts
Intervention 26-3: ATTUNE, An Acronym for Handling a Betrayal
Intervention 26-4: It's Happening Again
Intervention 26-5: Partner Exercise in Building Trust
Intervention 26-6: The Trust Bank
CHAPTER 27 PREPARING FOR FUTURE RUPTURES: ALERT PARTNERS TO INEVITABLE FUTURE RUPTURES
Intervention 27-1: Anticipate Ruptures by Assessing Change throughout Treatment
Intervention 27-2: Anticipate Ruptures by Staying Calm in the Face of Resistances and Roadblocks
Intervention 27-3: Anticipate Ruptures When Working with Partners with a Trauma History
Intervention 27-4: Anticipate Ruptures by Monitoring the Therapist's Own Negative Reactions
CHAPTER 28 SOLIDIFYING GAINS AT TERMINATION: PROMOTE REFLECTIVE FUTURE PLANNING IN LIGHT OF REVIEW OF THERAPY
Figure 28-1: Figure in Termination Report Reporting the Results of Relationship Closeness Before Therapy (darker pillars) and After Therapy (lighter pillars)
Intervention 28-1: Three Questions at Termination
Intervention 28-2: An Example of a Final Termination Report
Intervention 28-3: Joshua Memorial or Graduation Ceremony
Intervention 28-4: Post-Therapy Assessment
CHAPTER 29 REACHING A PRODUCTIVE CONCLUSION: HEED THESE TAKE-HOME MESSAGES
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couple;therapy;couples;psychology;mental health
CHAPTER 1 ADMITTING TO THE FRAGILITY OF COUPLE THERAPY: HOLD ONTO HOPE
PART 1 FRAMING INTERVENTIONS
CHAPTER 2 INTRODUCING THE THEORY: USE FIVE STEPS IN OPERATION HOPE
Figure 2-1: Operation Hope: The Grand Strategy for the Hope-Focused Couple Approach.
Intervention 2-1: Ten Techniques of the HFCA
CHAPTER 3 PROMOTING HOPE: UNCOVER DIFFERENT KINDS OF HOPE
CHAPTER 4 EMPLOY STRATEGIES FOR LOVE: HELP COUPLES DO THE WORK AND KEEP THE FAITH
Intervention 4-1: Education about Couple Therapy
Intervention 4-2: Get This Across-In Couple Therapy, Work Is Essential
Intervention 4-3: You Just Have to Do a Week of Work
Intervention 4-4: Great Homework Interventions
Intervention 4-5: Reflective Processing Worksheet
Intervention 4-6: Love that Values the Partner in Action
CHAPTER 5 USING THE THERAPY TECHNIQUES: MAKE CHANGE SENSIBLE
Intervention 5-1: How to Do Sensible Scaling with a Couple
CHAPTER 6 STRENGTHING THE EMOTIONAL BOND: FOCUS ON WHAT REALLY MAKES COUPLES SATISFIED AND STABLE
Figure 6-1: Practical Recipe of Actions to Build Intimacy
Intervention 6-1: CLEAVE to Bond
Intervention 6-2: Tell Me a Secret-Share Your Dreams
Intervention 6-3: Attend to the Emotional Cues
CHAPTER 7 APPLYING PRINCIPLES OF COUPLE THERAPY: FIND THE ESSENCE OF HELPING COUPLES CHANGE
PART 2 INTERACTING HOPEFULLY
CHAPTER 8 BUILDING HOPE WITH HOPE: HANDLING OUR PROBLEMS EFFECTIVELY
Intervention 8-1: The Alligator Intervention (Or How to Respond When Your Partner Snaps)
CHAPTER 9 UNDERSTANDING THE COUPLE'S PROBLEMS AND GOALS: USE ASSESSMENT EFFICIENTLY
Figure 9-1: The Couple Improvement Plan
Table 9-1: Questionnaires and Scales for Clinical Assessment of Couples
Intervention 9-1: Educate Couples about Preferences
Intervention 9-2: Pre-Meeting Assessment Questionnaires
Intervention 9-3: The Dyadic Interview 10 Questions
Intervention 9-4: Assigning Homework and the Couple Improvement Plan Worksheet
Intervention 9-5: Detect Red Flags
CHAPTER 10 PROVIDING FEEDBACK TO THE COUPLE: ENGAGE COUPLES IN PLANNING THEIR TREATMENT
Figure 10-1: Graphic Display of Carl and Sarah's Ratings of Elements of Their Relationship
Intervention 10-1: The Assessment Report
Intervention 10-2: Feedback Report Example
Intervention 10-3: Example Treatment Plan for Couple Therapy
CHAPTER 11 SETTING UP ROUTINE OUTCOME MONITORING: PUT ASSESSMENT TO WORK
Figure 11-1: H-ROM Questionnaire
Figure 11-2: Display of ROM Results for Each Partner
Intervention 11-1: Routine Outcome Monitoring (ROM) Assessment
CHAPTER 12 USING COUPLE THERAPY METHODS FOR HOPE: INSTILL HOPE FOR THE HOLY, HURTING, AND HEALTHY
Figure 12-1: Pain-Defense-Offense Pattern (adapted from Sells & Yarhouse, 2011)
Intervention 12-1: The Video Review
Intervention 12-2: Stopping Negative Reciprocity
CHAPTER 13 HELPING RESOLVE CONFLICTS: FIND MUTUAL INTERESTS BENEATH SURFACE FIGHTS
Figure 13-1: Couple Conflict: Process and Intervention
Figure 13-2: The LOVE Acronym
Intervention 13-1: LOVE-Three Interventions in One
Intervention 13-2: Five-Minute Date
Intervention 13-3: Simple Listen and Repeat, Warmly
Intervention 13-4: Time Out
Intervention 13-5: Expressing Valuing Love
Intervention 13-6: Experiencing and Expressing Gratitude
Intervention 13-7: Doubt Your Doubt
Intervention 13-8: Diffusing a Power Struggle by Setting up a Win-Win and Inviting Partners to Honor Each Other's Valued Choices
Intervention 13-9: Values Card Sort
Intervention 13-10: Process the Conflict
Intervention 13-11: Begin a Hard Discussion with a Soft Start-Up
Intervention 13-12: Slimy Pit Demonstration
CHAPTER 14 PROMOTING BETTER COMMUNICATION: FACILITATE WHAT THEY ALREADY KNOW
Figure 14-1: Practice Affirming and Active Responding Instead of Discounting and Disengaging
Intervention 14-1: Love Bank
Intervention 14-2: Love Bank Spin-Offs
Intervention 14-3: Making Affirming Active Responses Using the Speaker-Listener Technique
Intervention 14-4: Leveling and Editing
Intervention 14-5: Love Busters
Intervention 14-6: TANGO and TANGO-E
Intervention 14-7: A Coke and a Smile
PART 3 BONDING
CHAPTER 15 REVEALING THE SECRET TO A HAPPY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP: HELP BUILD A MORE INTIMATE EMOTIONAL BOND
Figure 15-1: Sternberg's Eight Types of Love Derived from Being High or Low in Passion, Intimacy, and Commitment
Figure 15-2: Intimacy Thermometers (Ripley & Worthington, 2014)
Intervention 15-1: Plot the Couple's Sternberg Love-Triangle History
Intervention 15-2: Conceptualization of Three Types of Power
Intervention 15-3: Assess and Process the Intimacy Thermometers
Intervention 15-4: Graphing Closeness throughout the Relationship
Intervention 15-5: Five Love Languages to Increase Emotional Bonds
Intervention 15-6: A Sculpting Intervention to Deepen Intimacy over Time
Intervention 15-7: Make Dreams and Hopes Solid
CHAPTER 16 ENCOURAGING DEEP EMOTIONAL SHARING: HELP PARTNERS SHARE POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
Intervention 16-1: Romantic Dates and Special Times to Enhance Emotional Intimacy
Intervention 16-2: Three Ways to Enhance Sexual Intimacy
Intervention 16-3: Intellectual and Recreational Intimacy
Intervention 16-4: Prompt Spiritual and Romantic Reflection
Intervention 16-5: Assessing Spirituality with Couples
Intervention 16-6: Couple Prayer
Intervention 16-7: Process Ruptures in the Therapeutic Alliance
CHAPTER 17 BALANCING INTIMACY AND CLOSENESS WITH CO-ACTION AND ALONE-TIME: FIND THE RIGHT MIX FOR EACH COUPLE
Figure 17-1: The Distancer-Pursuer Couple Play-List. Topics that Trigger the Pattern of Requesting Interaction Followed by Withdrawal Followed by Elevated Intensity of Requests, etc.
Intervention 17-1: Bonding Day Activity
Intervention 17-2: A Used-Friendly Manual to Love Me
Intervention 17-3: Distancer-Pursuer Playlist
Intervention 17-4: Influencing Well and Accepting Influence
Intervention 17-5: Healthy Paths to Intimacy and Independence
CHAPTER 18 DISCERRNING ATTACHMENT STYLES AND EMOTIONAL BONDS: FIND EFFECTS OF EARLY RELATIONSHIPS AND OF ADULT ONES
Intervention 18-1: Understand Attachment by Creating Genograms Focused on Attachment Styles
Intervention 18-2: Attachment Styles in Their Close Relationships
Intervention 18-3: Two Attachment Styles, One Emotional Bod
Intervention 18-4: Predict Backsliding to Avoid It
Intervention 18-5: Address Defenses against Vulnerability
Intervention 18-6: Solidify Intimacy by Renewing Vows
Intervention 18-7: Solidify Intimacy by Creating a Sojourning Narrative
PART 4 FORGIVING
CHAPTER 19 DEALING WITH HURTS AND INJUSTICES: REDUCE THE INJUSTICE GAP TO MAKE FORGIVENESS EASIER
Figure 19-1: Radical Acceptance
Intervention 19-1: See with Magic Eyes Fable
Intervention 19-2: Questions to Ponder as You Begin to Address Past Hurts with the Couple
Intervention 19-3: Stopping Rumination
Intervention 19-4: Tolerate Offensive Behavior without Blowing Up
Intervention 19-5: Forbear Instead of Seeking Revenge (Or Even Contemplating It)
Intervention 19-6: Offer Restitution
Intervention 19-7: Grace Ain't Just for Supper
Intervention 19-8: Radical Acceptance
Intervention 19-9: Transform Emotion with Emotion
CHAPTER 20 USING AN EFFECTIVE FORGIVENESS INTERVENTION: TEACH FIVE STEPS TO REACH FORGIVENESS
Intervention 20-1: Issues to Consider as You Start a REACH Forgiveness Group Program for Your Practice
Intervention 20-2: Point-by-Point Summary of the REACH Forgiveness Protocol
Intervention 20-3: Research Supporting REACH Forgiveness Treatment
CHAPTER 21 USING REACH FORGIVENESS IN SESSION: WALK COUPLES THROUGH IT
Figure 21-1: Four Interventions (21-1, 21-2, 21-3, and 21-4) to Promote Movement toward Reconciliation
Intervention 21-1: Choose Four Offenses to Work on
Intervention 21-2: Introduce the REACH Forgiveness Model
Intervention 21-3: Practice Confession and Apology
Intervention 21-4: Apply REACH
Intervention 21-5: Work through a Do-It-Yourself Workbook on REACH Forgiveness
Intervention 21-6: Have Partners Reflect on Their Learning
Intervention 21-7: Six Steps to Decisional Plus Emotional Self-Forgiveness
Intervention 21-8: An Intervention to Forgive Oneself Due to Non-Moral Self-Condemnation
Intervention 21-9: Working with One Partner on Curbing Their Excessive Self-Condemnation
PART 5 RECONCILING AND REBUILDING
CHAPTER 22 TEACHING FORGIVENESS AND RECONCILIATION: GUIDE PARTNERS THROUGH FOUR STEPS TO SET PARTNERS FREE
Figure 22-1: Four Steps to Forgiveness and Reconciliation through Experiencing Empathy (FREE)
Intervention 22-1: Idea #1 for Preparing Couples to Forgive & Reconcile-Consider Wartime
Intervention 22-2: Idea #2 for Preparing Couples to Reconcile-Why Forgive & Reconcile?
Intervention 22-3: Idea #3 for Preparing Couples to Reconcile-Savor Good Forgiveness
CHAPTER 23 MAKING DECISIONS AND DISCUSSING HURTS: DISCERN WHAT CAN AND CAN'T BE REDEEMED
Figure 23-1: Prepare for FREE
Intervention 23-1: Consider Memory of Past Conflicts with an Analogy
Intervention 23-2: It's Not Only What I Did, But What My Partner Perceived I Did
Intervention 23-3: Psychoeducation about Processing Past Offenses
Intervention 23-4: Dan Wile's (1988, 2008) Empathic Responding
Intervention 23-5: Preparing for Forgiveness and Reconciliation with Empathy
Intervention 23-6: Preparing for Forgiveness and Reconciliation with Emotional Softening
Intervention 23-7: Preparing for Forgiveness and Reconciliation through Regulating Emotions
Intervention 23-8: Address Resistance, Fuzzy Definitions, and Fears of Forgiveness
Intervention 23-9: Write Letters of Apology as Homework
Intervention 23-10: Discuss Potential Responses to Being Asked to Forgive the Wrongdoer
Intervention 23-11: CONFESS Acronym
CHAPTER 24 REPAIRING DAMAGE TO THE RELATIONSHIP: FIX WHAT CAN BE FIXED
Intervention 24-1: Scaling the Injustice Gap
Intervention 24-2: Responding to Criticism Non-Defensively (In Session)
Intervention 24-3: Principles to Address Unresolvable Problems
CHAPTER 25 REBUILDING DEVOTION WITH FREE: CREATE NEW STRUCTURES TO REPLACE MISSING ONES
Intervention 25-1: For Marriage War-Survivors, Read about Coventry and Dresden
Intervention 25-2: Increase Devotion through Gratitude Interventions
Intervention 25-3: Motivate Couples to Use Regular Checks on Functioning
Intervention 25-4: Discuss Annual Relationship Check-Up Questions
Intervention 25-5: Use the CARE Measure to Have Couples Self-Evaluate the Relationship
PART 6 REFORGING TRUST
CHAPTER 26 REFORGING TRUST: LET COUPLES KNOW THAT IT TAKES LONGER THAN THEY THINK IT WILL
Figure 26-1: Trust
Intervention 26-1: Illuminate the Processes of Trust-Busting and Trust-Building
Intervention 26-2: Use Slow-Building Trust to Deal with Deep Hurts
Intervention 26-3: ATTUNE, An Acronym for Handling a Betrayal
Intervention 26-4: It's Happening Again
Intervention 26-5: Partner Exercise in Building Trust
Intervention 26-6: The Trust Bank
CHAPTER 27 PREPARING FOR FUTURE RUPTURES: ALERT PARTNERS TO INEVITABLE FUTURE RUPTURES
Intervention 27-1: Anticipate Ruptures by Assessing Change throughout Treatment
Intervention 27-2: Anticipate Ruptures by Staying Calm in the Face of Resistances and Roadblocks
Intervention 27-3: Anticipate Ruptures When Working with Partners with a Trauma History
Intervention 27-4: Anticipate Ruptures by Monitoring the Therapist's Own Negative Reactions
CHAPTER 28 SOLIDIFYING GAINS AT TERMINATION: PROMOTE REFLECTIVE FUTURE PLANNING IN LIGHT OF REVIEW OF THERAPY
Figure 28-1: Figure in Termination Report Reporting the Results of Relationship Closeness Before Therapy (darker pillars) and After Therapy (lighter pillars)
Intervention 28-1: Three Questions at Termination
Intervention 28-2: An Example of a Final Termination Report
Intervention 28-3: Joshua Memorial or Graduation Ceremony
Intervention 28-4: Post-Therapy Assessment
CHAPTER 29 REACHING A PRODUCTIVE CONCLUSION: HEED THESE TAKE-HOME MESSAGES
PART 1 FRAMING INTERVENTIONS
CHAPTER 2 INTRODUCING THE THEORY: USE FIVE STEPS IN OPERATION HOPE
Figure 2-1: Operation Hope: The Grand Strategy for the Hope-Focused Couple Approach.
Intervention 2-1: Ten Techniques of the HFCA
CHAPTER 3 PROMOTING HOPE: UNCOVER DIFFERENT KINDS OF HOPE
CHAPTER 4 EMPLOY STRATEGIES FOR LOVE: HELP COUPLES DO THE WORK AND KEEP THE FAITH
Intervention 4-1: Education about Couple Therapy
Intervention 4-2: Get This Across-In Couple Therapy, Work Is Essential
Intervention 4-3: You Just Have to Do a Week of Work
Intervention 4-4: Great Homework Interventions
Intervention 4-5: Reflective Processing Worksheet
Intervention 4-6: Love that Values the Partner in Action
CHAPTER 5 USING THE THERAPY TECHNIQUES: MAKE CHANGE SENSIBLE
Intervention 5-1: How to Do Sensible Scaling with a Couple
CHAPTER 6 STRENGTHING THE EMOTIONAL BOND: FOCUS ON WHAT REALLY MAKES COUPLES SATISFIED AND STABLE
Figure 6-1: Practical Recipe of Actions to Build Intimacy
Intervention 6-1: CLEAVE to Bond
Intervention 6-2: Tell Me a Secret-Share Your Dreams
Intervention 6-3: Attend to the Emotional Cues
CHAPTER 7 APPLYING PRINCIPLES OF COUPLE THERAPY: FIND THE ESSENCE OF HELPING COUPLES CHANGE
PART 2 INTERACTING HOPEFULLY
CHAPTER 8 BUILDING HOPE WITH HOPE: HANDLING OUR PROBLEMS EFFECTIVELY
Intervention 8-1: The Alligator Intervention (Or How to Respond When Your Partner Snaps)
CHAPTER 9 UNDERSTANDING THE COUPLE'S PROBLEMS AND GOALS: USE ASSESSMENT EFFICIENTLY
Figure 9-1: The Couple Improvement Plan
Table 9-1: Questionnaires and Scales for Clinical Assessment of Couples
Intervention 9-1: Educate Couples about Preferences
Intervention 9-2: Pre-Meeting Assessment Questionnaires
Intervention 9-3: The Dyadic Interview 10 Questions
Intervention 9-4: Assigning Homework and the Couple Improvement Plan Worksheet
Intervention 9-5: Detect Red Flags
CHAPTER 10 PROVIDING FEEDBACK TO THE COUPLE: ENGAGE COUPLES IN PLANNING THEIR TREATMENT
Figure 10-1: Graphic Display of Carl and Sarah's Ratings of Elements of Their Relationship
Intervention 10-1: The Assessment Report
Intervention 10-2: Feedback Report Example
Intervention 10-3: Example Treatment Plan for Couple Therapy
CHAPTER 11 SETTING UP ROUTINE OUTCOME MONITORING: PUT ASSESSMENT TO WORK
Figure 11-1: H-ROM Questionnaire
Figure 11-2: Display of ROM Results for Each Partner
Intervention 11-1: Routine Outcome Monitoring (ROM) Assessment
CHAPTER 12 USING COUPLE THERAPY METHODS FOR HOPE: INSTILL HOPE FOR THE HOLY, HURTING, AND HEALTHY
Figure 12-1: Pain-Defense-Offense Pattern (adapted from Sells & Yarhouse, 2011)
Intervention 12-1: The Video Review
Intervention 12-2: Stopping Negative Reciprocity
CHAPTER 13 HELPING RESOLVE CONFLICTS: FIND MUTUAL INTERESTS BENEATH SURFACE FIGHTS
Figure 13-1: Couple Conflict: Process and Intervention
Figure 13-2: The LOVE Acronym
Intervention 13-1: LOVE-Three Interventions in One
Intervention 13-2: Five-Minute Date
Intervention 13-3: Simple Listen and Repeat, Warmly
Intervention 13-4: Time Out
Intervention 13-5: Expressing Valuing Love
Intervention 13-6: Experiencing and Expressing Gratitude
Intervention 13-7: Doubt Your Doubt
Intervention 13-8: Diffusing a Power Struggle by Setting up a Win-Win and Inviting Partners to Honor Each Other's Valued Choices
Intervention 13-9: Values Card Sort
Intervention 13-10: Process the Conflict
Intervention 13-11: Begin a Hard Discussion with a Soft Start-Up
Intervention 13-12: Slimy Pit Demonstration
CHAPTER 14 PROMOTING BETTER COMMUNICATION: FACILITATE WHAT THEY ALREADY KNOW
Figure 14-1: Practice Affirming and Active Responding Instead of Discounting and Disengaging
Intervention 14-1: Love Bank
Intervention 14-2: Love Bank Spin-Offs
Intervention 14-3: Making Affirming Active Responses Using the Speaker-Listener Technique
Intervention 14-4: Leveling and Editing
Intervention 14-5: Love Busters
Intervention 14-6: TANGO and TANGO-E
Intervention 14-7: A Coke and a Smile
PART 3 BONDING
CHAPTER 15 REVEALING THE SECRET TO A HAPPY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP: HELP BUILD A MORE INTIMATE EMOTIONAL BOND
Figure 15-1: Sternberg's Eight Types of Love Derived from Being High or Low in Passion, Intimacy, and Commitment
Figure 15-2: Intimacy Thermometers (Ripley & Worthington, 2014)
Intervention 15-1: Plot the Couple's Sternberg Love-Triangle History
Intervention 15-2: Conceptualization of Three Types of Power
Intervention 15-3: Assess and Process the Intimacy Thermometers
Intervention 15-4: Graphing Closeness throughout the Relationship
Intervention 15-5: Five Love Languages to Increase Emotional Bonds
Intervention 15-6: A Sculpting Intervention to Deepen Intimacy over Time
Intervention 15-7: Make Dreams and Hopes Solid
CHAPTER 16 ENCOURAGING DEEP EMOTIONAL SHARING: HELP PARTNERS SHARE POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
Intervention 16-1: Romantic Dates and Special Times to Enhance Emotional Intimacy
Intervention 16-2: Three Ways to Enhance Sexual Intimacy
Intervention 16-3: Intellectual and Recreational Intimacy
Intervention 16-4: Prompt Spiritual and Romantic Reflection
Intervention 16-5: Assessing Spirituality with Couples
Intervention 16-6: Couple Prayer
Intervention 16-7: Process Ruptures in the Therapeutic Alliance
CHAPTER 17 BALANCING INTIMACY AND CLOSENESS WITH CO-ACTION AND ALONE-TIME: FIND THE RIGHT MIX FOR EACH COUPLE
Figure 17-1: The Distancer-Pursuer Couple Play-List. Topics that Trigger the Pattern of Requesting Interaction Followed by Withdrawal Followed by Elevated Intensity of Requests, etc.
Intervention 17-1: Bonding Day Activity
Intervention 17-2: A Used-Friendly Manual to Love Me
Intervention 17-3: Distancer-Pursuer Playlist
Intervention 17-4: Influencing Well and Accepting Influence
Intervention 17-5: Healthy Paths to Intimacy and Independence
CHAPTER 18 DISCERRNING ATTACHMENT STYLES AND EMOTIONAL BONDS: FIND EFFECTS OF EARLY RELATIONSHIPS AND OF ADULT ONES
Intervention 18-1: Understand Attachment by Creating Genograms Focused on Attachment Styles
Intervention 18-2: Attachment Styles in Their Close Relationships
Intervention 18-3: Two Attachment Styles, One Emotional Bod
Intervention 18-4: Predict Backsliding to Avoid It
Intervention 18-5: Address Defenses against Vulnerability
Intervention 18-6: Solidify Intimacy by Renewing Vows
Intervention 18-7: Solidify Intimacy by Creating a Sojourning Narrative
PART 4 FORGIVING
CHAPTER 19 DEALING WITH HURTS AND INJUSTICES: REDUCE THE INJUSTICE GAP TO MAKE FORGIVENESS EASIER
Figure 19-1: Radical Acceptance
Intervention 19-1: See with Magic Eyes Fable
Intervention 19-2: Questions to Ponder as You Begin to Address Past Hurts with the Couple
Intervention 19-3: Stopping Rumination
Intervention 19-4: Tolerate Offensive Behavior without Blowing Up
Intervention 19-5: Forbear Instead of Seeking Revenge (Or Even Contemplating It)
Intervention 19-6: Offer Restitution
Intervention 19-7: Grace Ain't Just for Supper
Intervention 19-8: Radical Acceptance
Intervention 19-9: Transform Emotion with Emotion
CHAPTER 20 USING AN EFFECTIVE FORGIVENESS INTERVENTION: TEACH FIVE STEPS TO REACH FORGIVENESS
Intervention 20-1: Issues to Consider as You Start a REACH Forgiveness Group Program for Your Practice
Intervention 20-2: Point-by-Point Summary of the REACH Forgiveness Protocol
Intervention 20-3: Research Supporting REACH Forgiveness Treatment
CHAPTER 21 USING REACH FORGIVENESS IN SESSION: WALK COUPLES THROUGH IT
Figure 21-1: Four Interventions (21-1, 21-2, 21-3, and 21-4) to Promote Movement toward Reconciliation
Intervention 21-1: Choose Four Offenses to Work on
Intervention 21-2: Introduce the REACH Forgiveness Model
Intervention 21-3: Practice Confession and Apology
Intervention 21-4: Apply REACH
Intervention 21-5: Work through a Do-It-Yourself Workbook on REACH Forgiveness
Intervention 21-6: Have Partners Reflect on Their Learning
Intervention 21-7: Six Steps to Decisional Plus Emotional Self-Forgiveness
Intervention 21-8: An Intervention to Forgive Oneself Due to Non-Moral Self-Condemnation
Intervention 21-9: Working with One Partner on Curbing Their Excessive Self-Condemnation
PART 5 RECONCILING AND REBUILDING
CHAPTER 22 TEACHING FORGIVENESS AND RECONCILIATION: GUIDE PARTNERS THROUGH FOUR STEPS TO SET PARTNERS FREE
Figure 22-1: Four Steps to Forgiveness and Reconciliation through Experiencing Empathy (FREE)
Intervention 22-1: Idea #1 for Preparing Couples to Forgive & Reconcile-Consider Wartime
Intervention 22-2: Idea #2 for Preparing Couples to Reconcile-Why Forgive & Reconcile?
Intervention 22-3: Idea #3 for Preparing Couples to Reconcile-Savor Good Forgiveness
CHAPTER 23 MAKING DECISIONS AND DISCUSSING HURTS: DISCERN WHAT CAN AND CAN'T BE REDEEMED
Figure 23-1: Prepare for FREE
Intervention 23-1: Consider Memory of Past Conflicts with an Analogy
Intervention 23-2: It's Not Only What I Did, But What My Partner Perceived I Did
Intervention 23-3: Psychoeducation about Processing Past Offenses
Intervention 23-4: Dan Wile's (1988, 2008) Empathic Responding
Intervention 23-5: Preparing for Forgiveness and Reconciliation with Empathy
Intervention 23-6: Preparing for Forgiveness and Reconciliation with Emotional Softening
Intervention 23-7: Preparing for Forgiveness and Reconciliation through Regulating Emotions
Intervention 23-8: Address Resistance, Fuzzy Definitions, and Fears of Forgiveness
Intervention 23-9: Write Letters of Apology as Homework
Intervention 23-10: Discuss Potential Responses to Being Asked to Forgive the Wrongdoer
Intervention 23-11: CONFESS Acronym
CHAPTER 24 REPAIRING DAMAGE TO THE RELATIONSHIP: FIX WHAT CAN BE FIXED
Intervention 24-1: Scaling the Injustice Gap
Intervention 24-2: Responding to Criticism Non-Defensively (In Session)
Intervention 24-3: Principles to Address Unresolvable Problems
CHAPTER 25 REBUILDING DEVOTION WITH FREE: CREATE NEW STRUCTURES TO REPLACE MISSING ONES
Intervention 25-1: For Marriage War-Survivors, Read about Coventry and Dresden
Intervention 25-2: Increase Devotion through Gratitude Interventions
Intervention 25-3: Motivate Couples to Use Regular Checks on Functioning
Intervention 25-4: Discuss Annual Relationship Check-Up Questions
Intervention 25-5: Use the CARE Measure to Have Couples Self-Evaluate the Relationship
PART 6 REFORGING TRUST
CHAPTER 26 REFORGING TRUST: LET COUPLES KNOW THAT IT TAKES LONGER THAN THEY THINK IT WILL
Figure 26-1: Trust
Intervention 26-1: Illuminate the Processes of Trust-Busting and Trust-Building
Intervention 26-2: Use Slow-Building Trust to Deal with Deep Hurts
Intervention 26-3: ATTUNE, An Acronym for Handling a Betrayal
Intervention 26-4: It's Happening Again
Intervention 26-5: Partner Exercise in Building Trust
Intervention 26-6: The Trust Bank
CHAPTER 27 PREPARING FOR FUTURE RUPTURES: ALERT PARTNERS TO INEVITABLE FUTURE RUPTURES
Intervention 27-1: Anticipate Ruptures by Assessing Change throughout Treatment
Intervention 27-2: Anticipate Ruptures by Staying Calm in the Face of Resistances and Roadblocks
Intervention 27-3: Anticipate Ruptures When Working with Partners with a Trauma History
Intervention 27-4: Anticipate Ruptures by Monitoring the Therapist's Own Negative Reactions
CHAPTER 28 SOLIDIFYING GAINS AT TERMINATION: PROMOTE REFLECTIVE FUTURE PLANNING IN LIGHT OF REVIEW OF THERAPY
Figure 28-1: Figure in Termination Report Reporting the Results of Relationship Closeness Before Therapy (darker pillars) and After Therapy (lighter pillars)
Intervention 28-1: Three Questions at Termination
Intervention 28-2: An Example of a Final Termination Report
Intervention 28-3: Joshua Memorial or Graduation Ceremony
Intervention 28-4: Post-Therapy Assessment
CHAPTER 29 REACHING A PRODUCTIVE CONCLUSION: HEED THESE TAKE-HOME MESSAGES
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